Love Chronicles
by Fistful of Moondust
Summary: A series of stories and chapters on love. Ships included are Ron and Hermione, Luna and Neville, Arthur and Molly, etc. Not necessarily about being in love. Chapter 10 Snape uploaded! Rating for mild language. Please review!
1. Fall to Pieces

"Love Chronicles"

By Fistful of Moondust

Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story belong to J.K. Rowling. The song, my inspiration for these two chapters, belongs to Avril Lavigne.

**  
Part I:  
****_Chapter 1: Fall to Pieces  
_**_  
  
I looked away  
__Then I looked back at you_

Ron grabbed Hermione by the hand and pulled her into a darkened corridor, leading her finally to an empty classroom.

Hermione, befuddled, could feel her face burning bright. What was Ron doing? Why was he leading her to an empty classroom late in the evening? More importantly, she thought shyly, why aren't I protesting?

The door seemed to bang and crash as it slammed shut. Hermione held her breath, thinking that the whole castle must have felt, if not heard, the noise.

"What are you doing Ron?" she asked in a hushed whisper, silently thrilled that she had managed to find her voice at all.

He stood in front of her, acting nervous, full of energy like he did before Quidditch matches. His hand scratched his red hair, making it stick up wildly in some places and lay flat in others. Hermione thought it rather endearing.

"What kind of things do girls like?" he finally said.

Hermione blinked at him only a couple times, her heart telling her this was _it_. He was finally going to admit _it_. _Everything_.

"The same things as guys, I guess."

He gaped at her and she had to laugh. "No…I mean…well, I don't know. What are you asking about specifically?" she asked.

He shuffled his feet around, something on the tile of stone suddenly becoming very interesting. "Romantically, I mean," he muttered just loud enough that only the painting nearest to them snorted.

She shot the painting a dirty look. The castle paintings really _did _need to learn their manners.

"Well," she began, turning her full attention back to Ron, "it depends on the girl, I suppose. Poetry is nice. Flowers. Chocolate."

He sighed. "I was afraid of that," he replied wearily. He walked away from her, leaving her in the darkened entryway of the classroom. When he stepped into the moonlight, shining in through one of the slit windows, his hair was a silvery gold color. "What kind of things do you suppose Susan likes?"

_You tried to say  
__Things that you can't undo_

Hermione choked on her anticipation. Susan? As in Susan Bones? Where was this coming from?

Ron must have sensed her confusion and began backpedaling fiercely. "Just as an example, you know Hermione. I mean, Susan, she's just an average witch, right? I'd ask you what you like but you're not average Hermione, you're brilliant—

She held up her hand so that he could stop talking. She didn't want to hear about how un-average she was. About how smart she was…not that Susan Bones was all that pretty, but she probably was better looking to a bloke like Ron than she was.

_If I had my way  
__I'd never get over you  
__Today's the day  
__I pray that we make it through  
__Make it through the fall  
__Make it through it all_

"I must confess that I don't really know Susan, Ron. I mean, she's in Hufflepuff and well, in case you've forgotten…I'm not. I suppose she likes flowers and chocolates and poetry like an 'average' witch because like you said, she is rather average," Hermione stated. Even to her she sounded a little vindictive and humiliated.

And don't I have a right to be? He led me on…led me on to ask me what Susan would like!

She was beginning to get a headache. This was all too much thinking for her. She should never have befriended him their first year. The only reason she did was because (and it took her until Fourth Year to admit this) she had been smitten with him after the troll incident (although she was probably smitten by him even before that).

_I don't want to fall to pieces  
__I just want to sit and stare at you  
__I don't want to talk about it  
__I don't want a conversation_

"Are you alright, Hermione?" he asked quietly. Ron sensed that something had gone terribly wrong. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was all his fault too. But what was Hermione expecting? Why should she be upset or hurt by him?

He had given up on her long ago. She'd never shown that she felt the same as he and he was tired of waiting. And Susan was nice enough. Not Hermione, but nice enough.

She was finding it hard to muster the strength to continue holding in the tears. They tasted so bitter.

When she turned away, Ron grabbed her elbow, spinning her toward him. "What's wrong?" he asked, peering into her face as best he could in the shadows.

She shook her head. "Never mind Ron, it's nothing important." He wasn't going to understand the hurt his words and feelings for Susan were putting her through.

_I just want to cry in front of you  
__I don't want to talk about it  
__'Cause I'm in love with you_

He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Everything you say is important Hermione," he told her fiercely, believing his words too. Nothing she said was unimportant. In some way, her words always changed him. For the better, too.

She couldn't stop the sniffling and choking sobs that came when he said that. "Why do you always do this to me, Ron? Why?" she asked, tears falling freely of their own accord, splashing onto his thumbnail and dripping down the front of her jumper.

"Do what?"

She sniffled again. "Say such nice things after pissing me off," she answered.

Ron's eyes grew to the size of muggle quarter.

"Don't patronize me, Ronald," she warned him. "And as for Susan," she added angrily, her pride wounded and bruised by her betraying tears, "try poetry." She's probably a sucker for that, she added irritably. Susan would never appreciate Ron the way she did.

She was almost to the door when she heard Ron's voice calling her back; his tone challenged her to step out the classroom. She never backed away from a challenge.

"It's not that hard to woo a witch, Ronald. In fact, no matter what a girl likes, she'd be happy to receive something," Hermione let him know. The hurt in her voice had been replaced by irritation that he was keeping her.

"Ron, let me go, I'm tired. I want to go to bed." She heard an annoyed snort. "And apparently you're keeping the portraits awake, Ron."

"Well, you aren't helping matters either!" one of the portraits closest to her huffed. She heard fabric rustling together and could only assume he was turning around, away from the on-the-brink-of-arguing friends.

Ron looked smug.

"Ron, it's late," she repeated. "I'm tired. I was planning on being in bed long ago. Don't you ever sleep?"

She wanted to know this about him. Wanted to know everything, really.

_You're the only one  
__I'd be with 'til the end  
__When I come undone  
__You bring me back again  
__Back under the stars  
__Back in your arms_

When he didn't answer she sighed weakly and turned away. She had had enough of this. She wouldn't admit it to herself, least of all Ron, but if he hadn't brought her here to declare his undying love for her, then she didn't want to be here alone with him. Not much, anyway.

She heard the classroom door slam shut once and then creak open only to be slammed closed again. Ron's footsteps were loud in comparison with hers. Portraits were shushing him.

She felt breathless and weak and tired but at the same time energized to the point of feeling like she'd just slept for a week.

"Fairie dust," she said to the Fat Lady, who obliged and the portal swung open.

In the Gryffindor Common Room people were still awake, milling about. Parvati and Lavender were (in a rare occurrence) seriously studying, though Hermione suspected it was Divination which was _not _a serious focus of study, no matter what her flighty roommates might argue.

Dean and Harry were playing chess. It looked as if Harry was winning but truthfully Hermione didn't know much about chess and so Dean could have been winning.

Ginny and Luna were studying for a Potions exam tomorrow. Hermione empathized with their worried looks. She knew how they felt.

She smiled upon seeing Neville, sitting across the common room from Ginny and Luna, obviously staring and Luna, mooning over her actually.

"Can we talk Hermione?"

Blast Ron for sneaking up on her. She had completely forgotten about him for that moment in time.

_Want to know who you are  
__Want to know where to start  
__I want to know what this means  
__Want to know how to feel  
__Want to know what is real  
__I want to know everything, everything_

She shook her head. "I really don't feel like talking Ron." Unless, of course, you want to take back what you said before about Susan and tell me you love only me. Then we can talk.

"Please Hermione?" he asked again, giving her the horribly sappy puppy dog look.

She rolled her eyes. "I despise you for giving me that look, Ronald," she said in a firm tone. She hoped it would get him to leave her alone.

"I don't really like Susan, Hermione," he said suddenly.

Hermione gave him a shocked expression.

He shrugged. "Well, I don't. I just figured she was a good example. There, there's someone else, actually—

_I'm in love with you  
__'Cause I'm in love with you  
__I'm in love with you  
__I'm in love with you  
  
_Please review!__


	2. Confessions

Thank you to _Luckyloo16_, my very first reviewer for this piece in the works! I'm so glad to have you (still) as a reviewer! I hope you like the rest of this story as well!  
  
**  
Part 1:  
****_Chapter 2: Falling to My Knees (Confessions)_**

**_  
_**Hermione tapped her foot impatiently.

_I'm in love with you  
__'Cause I'm in love with you  
__I'm in love with you  
__I'm in love with you_

"So help me Merlin, Ronald, if you dare tell me now that you are in love with Eloise Midgen or Luna or Padma or, or, or anyone for that matter, I will hurt you!" she threatened. Why did he insist on going back and forth in _everything_? Couldn't he just be serious, stick with his original claim once? Just this once, really, that's all she was asking for.

He stared at her blankly for a minute before gathering his wits about him, coming up with another retort to irritate. "What _are _you talking about Hermione?"

She threw her hands into the air. "You know what Ron? Never mind what I'm talking about!" She charged away from him, not paying attention to any of his pleas for her to stop. Her heart was racing, she was sure the entire common room was staring at the two of them, again, and frankly, she was tired of being their amusement. Ron had to have been, too, she figured.

She was halfway down the hall from the Gryffindor Tower when Ron finally caught up with her. "Why do you keep running from me?"

Hermione, infuriated, whirled around, got on her tiptoes and got as close to him as she could without grabbing him and kissing him. "_I _am performing one of _our _Prefect duties, Ronald! I'm surveying the halls!"

She tried walking away from him but he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. He crossed his arms over his chest. He gave her a cool, appraising look. "I thought you said you wanted to go to bed?" he asked suspiciously. His dark blue eyes were watching her closely, scrutinizing her every move.

She put her hands up against his chest (hardened from long Quidditch practices) and shoved him as hard as she could. "_Leave me alone_!"

Ron took a couple of stunned steps backward. He only barely kept from cussing rather loudly. He kept himself firmly planted on both feet, watching her walk away. He was confused as hell.

Then an amusing, and surprising, thought crossed his mind. What had possibly gotten into her bushy-haired head? _Why _would she be so bent out of shape because he mentioned Susan Bones? Did it really matter to her that he was in love with someone?

Or was it that he might possibly be in love with someone _other _than herself?

A devilish smirk decorated his face. "Hermione, you wouldn't be this mad because you're in love with me now, would you?"

She stopped dead cold.

He hadn't said the words loud but the emptiness and quiet of the hall made them sound louder than thunder. That he had the audacity to say something like that! Especially to her!

She snorted defensively before turning around only to glare at him; her cheeks flushed and breasts heaving. "How dare you make such an assumption! And in public no less!" she reprimanded in a hushed whisper.

Ron threw back his head and laughed. "Public, Hermione? What in the hell is so public about this here? It's an empty hallway, for the love of wizardry!" he shouted.

"You weren't nearly so cocky when you were asking about Susan earlier, Ron, what suddenly made you so sure of yourself?" she asked. Her head tipped to one side in a questioning gesture.

He stepped forward, coming closer to her in an attempt to keep their loud conversation more between themselves. If they weren't careful, the paintings would make sure they were the talk of the castle all day tomorrow.

He shrugged, stopping abruptly. He towered over her. "I don't know. I just thought that I'd ask. Is it so far off that you might be taken with me?"

Her gaze darkened and she started chewing lower lip. He could see tell by her reaction that she wasn't sure how she should answer. Then she looked up at him, and staring him right in the eyes, gave her answer. "In fact, yes, it _is _that far off that I might be taken with you," she replied. There was a triumphant 'Ha! I won' look in her eye that he didn't appreciate.

Ron snorted.

She arched an eyebrow. "Oh get over it, Ronald," she said chillily. "Aren't you sick of being at the center of everyone's attention? Don't you realize that we are? People are entertained by us?" Her voice was rising in volume and Ron was inwardly cringing.

"Or have you forgotten about all the times everyone's eyes have been on us?" she asked. She stepped forward. "And I don't mean like in the way Harry is. Harry might be the center of attention at times, but generally not for other people's amusement, that is, unless that other person happens to be Malfoy or any other Slytherin, of course," she said in one great big breath.

He stammered but before he could say anything, she continued on.

"Ron!" she exclaimed sharply. "I'm sick of having a Yule Ball row with you every year!" There were tears that he didn't notice welling up in her eyes. He didn't hear the ball of emotion unfisting itself in her throat. "I just want us to be friends, Ron."

"I thought we were friends," he said simply. It was the only thing he could think to say.

He felt, rather than saw, her smile. "Of course we are." There was an unknown element of reservation in her voice. "I'm tired Ron," she added softly.

Ron didn't think she was talking about being physically tired anymore. "But we are friends?"

She chuckled a little. Then she grabbed his hand in hers (he had to marvel at how tiny hers were against his, and at how warm they were). "We have to stick together Ron. We have to."

It sounded like a plea more than anything.

She added quietly and sincerely, "We're the only two people in the world who know what it's like to be Harry Potter's best friend. The only two people close enough to him to know what it's like to live in his shadow."

Ron nodded and despite the darkness, he felt that she could see him.

"Yeah, we are, aren't we?"

Raising herself up on her tiptoes, she put her arms around his neck and drew him close to her, hugging him with everything she had in herself.

Gingerly he put his arms around her. His one hand left the small of her back and began pulling at her long strands of hair, touching it and smoothing it out.

When she pulled away she seemed shier than she had in ages. Her eyes were shining brightly. "I'm sorry for being defensive with you. Again. Seems we can't ever go through a year without hysteria, can we?"

He looked confused. "Um, Hermione…I'm not sure I know what _hysteria _means," he admitted sheepishly.

She giggled. "Oh Ron, it's not important," she said then.

He sighed. "Good. For a moment I wasn't sure if I was supposed to know that word or not."

"Well, for future knowledge, _hysteria _is kind of like going nuts," she told him.

He brought his chin up in an acknowledging gesture. "Oh…so my Mum has hysteria then? And Ginny too?"

Hermione full out laughed then. "I think most women do," she said through laughs.

Ron smiled. He liked hearing Hermione's laugh. Liked making her laugh.

They had started walking back to Gryffindor Tower together but Ron made her stop, gently this time. "Hermione…" his voice had lost any sense of humor and Hermione suspected that he was about to be serious.

He ran a hand through his thick red locks, as he had done earlier. "When I said that I wasn't in love with Susan…"

Hermione had to suppress a groan. She didn't want to talk about this _again_. Why were they always going in circles? Couldn't they ever agree on anything? Anything outside of Harry that is? (And they didn't always agree on that!)

"Well, I meant it," he continued on. His eyes were sparking with life as he looked down at her. "I'm not and there is someone else."

She made herself be patient for him. Whatever he had to say must be important. Or at least it better be, because otherwise they might very well be starting another argument for no reason at all.

"And we do need to stick together," he added.

Really, he wasn't making much sense at all…

_You're the only one  
__I'd be with 'til the end_

And then his soft, warm lips were pressing against hers and his arms were holding her very close to him.

Shocked, but in pure bliss, Hermione buried her hands in his hair.

They had been avoiding kissing for much too long, she realized as the kiss came to an end and tidal waves of emotion were still hitting her. It was the end of their sixth year…how long had it been since she realized she liked him? That she was _in love with him_?

And did it really matter? Now that he was kissing her again, and that she could feel his heart beating as hard as hers through their chest cavities.

_I'm in love with you  
__I'm in love with you  
_

Thank you for reading these two short chapters! That's it for Ron and Hermione…now onto another couple (feel free to send in requests for couples _and _songs…I need your input!)! I hope you all enjoyed my short little story! Please read and review no matter what!


	3. Goodbye

Disclaimer: The characters still do not belong to me, and the song, "Goodbye," is Martina McBride's.

**  
Part II: ****_"Goodbye"_**

****

I'm sitting next to Katie Wellings in Advanced Divination. Professor Trelawney has just asked us to think of someone who we know, someone who is deceased. She wants to teach us to contact them from beyond…I want to tell her that I know that isn't possible. If it was, I'd be talking to Cedric right now, rather than sitting here listening to all this mumbo jumbo.

_Occurred to me the other day  
__You been gone now a couple years_

I don't think about him as much as I used to. It's not per minute or hourly, or even daily now. Now it's at weird times, times that you wouldn't expect I would think of him. Maybe when I'm eating lunch or when I'm walking by the Restricted Section of the Library. It's hardly ever right when I wake up or prior to falling asleep. Funny, I don't even think of him when I look at Harry.

Once upon a time, I had thought that's what would happen: that after Cedric died in our Fifth Year that looking at Harry would make me think of him. And for awhile, that was true. But then one day I looked at Harry and he was all I saw. Harry Potter was standing in front of me. Not The-Boy-Who-Carried-Out-My-Boyfriend. Just…_Harry_.

Now when I see him, I have to smile. He's such a nice person. From what I hear, a little angry sometimes (and little might be a tiny understatement) but he's nice. He's never been anything but honest with me, and I appreciate that.

I know Harry liked me. I liked him too.

But there was Cedric.

And now there's not.

_Well I guess it takes a while  
__For someone to really disappear  
__And I remember where I was_

Next to me, Katie snorts something and I break from my reverie for a moment to find Trelawney in one of her strange trances, talking to a dead brother. Sometimes, I admit, I think to myself that she has to be faking, and she has to be a flake but if that's the case, why would Dumbledore keep her on?

And that's enough thinking for me right now. At least, about other people.

It's weird, it really is, because sometimes I don't miss Cedric at all and it's like he never existed but then I'm pulled in the opposite direction because how can I forget him? It would be the most awful thing, I would think, to know (after you're dead) that you've been forgotten. At the same time, though, aren't I supposed to be getting on with my life?

I'm seventeen, for goodness sake! I _want _to move on! It's not that I necessarily want to forget about him but he can't be an all-consuming force in my world!

_When the word came about you  
__It was a day much like today  
__The sky was bright and wide and blue_

I let Terry Boot kiss me once, last week and it was wonderful, kissing someone again. Feeling normal and forgetting about him for just a second.

And I feel so stupid for hanging on to him like I have been. I am, after all, only seventeen. It's not like he was my soul mate or my one and only. He was only a date to the Yule Ball. He was only someone to stay up late with and talk to. He wasn't going to be in my future (when he was alive; now, he's obviously not). I miss him terribly so.

Katie nudges me in the ribs and I look down, to where she's written on a spare, yellowed piece of parchment: _how was Terry_? Does she expect me to spill everything?

I look at her and shake my head. Now isn't the time. I'm too confused and I need to figure things out for myself before I rattle on about them to my friends.

_And I wonder where you are  
__And if the pain ends when you die  
__And I wonder if there was  
__Some better way to say goodbye_

I wonder if he had died by some accident…you know, _died_ instead have been _killed_ would I still feel this way? Would I still have such lingering doubts over everything? Him and over us? I don't think so. Not all the time, anyway.

My eyes wander out toward the window and I see how nice it is outside. Hope blue and sunny and hopeful everything seems to be. It's like the sky forgot about the war. It forgot about death and Harry and You-Know-Who. Like it simply woke up, yawned, and thought about what great spirits it was in.

I'm talking nonsense, I know. But that's what happens when someone close to you, someone you love, dies. A part of you dies with them. My sensible part, my dreaming part died with Cedric.

_Today my heart is big and sore  
__Its trying to push right through my skin_

Sometimes I resent my classmates. I resent my friends. I resent Katie and Terry and Harry because, even though they knew my Cedric they can still laugh. And I'm still laughing too, when something is funny but sometimes, I cry so hard it feels like my eyeballs might start to bleed. What kind of happiness is that?

_Won't see you anymore  
__I guess that finally sinking in  
__Cause you can't make somebody see_

Even before class has ended, and Trelawney given the homework assignment, I've decided that I'm ill and would rather go back to bed then into Snape's class. So that's what I do.

On my nightstand is the last photo that was ever taken of us. On it is Cedric's sloppy, boy-almost-man handwriting. _You can bet that even as you're looking at this, Cho that I'm thinking of you._ I painfully smile as I read and reread his short message. Then I thank him for giving me the courage to go on (slowly but surely) with my life.

I crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and fall, mercifully, into a dreamless sleep where things like death and pain and impending wars can't, and don't, penetrate into my mindless thoughts.

_With the simple words you say  
__All their beauty from within  
__Sometimes they just look away_

Somewhere, between the time I fall asleep and wake up, I effortlessly imagine Cedric kissing me one last time, on the forehead. And I wake up to the sound of late night talks and broken dreams.

_And I wonder where you are  
__And if the pain ends when you die  
__And I wonder if there was  
__Some better way to say goodbye_

Thank you for reading this short part! Please review! 


	4. Kryptonite

Many thanks to _LuckyLoo16_, a wonderful reviewer! I hope you enjoy this chapter/part!

Disclaimer: The characters still do not belong to me, and the song, "Kryptonite," is 3 Doors Down's.

**Part III:****_ "Kryptonite"  
  
_**

****

_I took a walk around the world to  
__Ease my troubled mind  
__I left my body laying somewhere  
__In the sands of time  
__I watched the world float to the dark  
__Side of the moon  
__I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah_

I've watched too many people die, I've lost too many loved ones to the Dark Lord already and I haven't even reached middle age. There is something very maddening about that; and surreal at the same time.

When I was in Azkaban I thought those feelings, that absolution of emptiness was the worst feeling in the world but being Harry Potter's godfather isn't much better, much easier. There are all these feelings, all these _worries _that come along with the responsibility that sometimes I almost wonder how James thought he could do it.

James would be so proud of his son now. Remus and I are. Our hearts are nearly full to bursting with pride and love for this kid and I know that we don't feel half what James and Lily felt.

I think a lot on those first few hours I'd seen him, before his Third Year. I think on how much things have changed in those two short years and yet how, despite the change, everything has stayed the same.

How, because everything has stayed the same, nothing makes sense anymore. Cedric's death doesn't make sense, even now, and neither do James and Lily's, or anyone's for that matter. I think about the Muggles who've been affected by Voldemort and I feel terrible thinking about them, realizing that they _don't know_.

And sometimes, I envy their naivety.

I am such a guilty man for that: for their envy. I'm so _jealous_. I'm jealous that, while Remus has his own cross to bear, he was allowed to do so in freedom. He can come and go as he pleases (as long as it's not during that time in the cycle). I'm jealous that Peter, although a rat (facetiously and quite literally) spent his time outside of Azkaban while I was killed a little more every day, so much that I'm not sure if I'm even alive anymore. Snape, who I have loathed since before coming to Hogwarts as a child had more of a freedom then I did. Do you understand how much that stings? It's as if salt has been rubbed into an open, still bleeding wound when I look at him.

And I hate to admit this to anyone, even you, but I'm jealous of James and Lily. For although they're dead they knew true love. They knew it before they died. They'd known their son before they'd been killed while I, I only know the scarred Harry.

I really truly am not a good man.

_I watched the world float to the  
__Dark side of the moon  
__After all I knew it had to be something  
__To do with you_

"Sirius, are you coming down for dinner?" Remus asks. I can tell he's worried. He has been for some time now. I'm not sure what about though; there are so many things under the moon to worry about now.

Harry appears behind him, looking slightly curious as James used to and I have to laugh and shake my head.

"Of course I'm coming to dinner. I wouldn't miss Molly's food for the life of me." Molly Weasley truly is a gifted cook.

The three of us head downstairs and sit around the table. Ron and Hermione are, as usual not speaking and I chuckle to myself. I only vaguely remember Arthur and Molly from my Hogwarts years, they were in their seventh year when I was a first year and from what I remember, they fought as much, if not more, than Ron and Hermione.

Harry sees that his friends really aren't speaking to each other and glares at them for a moment before turning away. It truly worries me, how angry he's come to be.

_I really don't mind what happens now and then  
__As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

Looking at these people, seated around this dinner table, I've wondered why they ever believed my innocence. They would say it was Dumbledore but then, if that's the case, why did he believe me? Is he really all knowing?

They didn't have to believe my innocence. Remus didn't have to stand by me. Harry could have feared me, instead of Peter, but he chose not too. I can't understand why and part of me is afraid to know why. Some things, after all, truly are better left unsaid.

_If I go crazy then will you still  
__Call me Superman  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be  
__There holding my hand  
__If I keep you by my side with  
__My superhuman might  
__Kryptonite_

And part of me is amazed at the strength that I have found, so soon after Azkaban. It's not that I was ever lazy before, or unwilling, but I'd never gotten myself together so quickly. That was Remus. He was the strong one of the four of us, the quiet one who stood in the corner observing our stupidity. How did I end up in this position?

I asked Remus that once.

"You have a responsibility know, Sirius. One that I don't have, one that I can't have. That's how you ended up so far from where you started."

He reminds me of Dumbledore with his words, his mannerisms, the way he speaks. He doesn't speak _normally_, he speaks _carefully_.

James used to joke that at least one of the four of us was smart, it would be pretty unfortunate if we were all stupid because then, who would help us with our homework? (The answer ended up being Lily, by the way. She would have been right next to Hermione in S.P.E.W. had they lived in the same generation, or if they could travel through generations.)

I'm watching Harry, Ron and Hermione and I'm so proud and so blessed to know them, the Infamous Trio. Honestly, I don't know how they've made it this far without dropping out of Hogwarts or even killing each other. Or at least, I don't understand the intricate dynamics of Ron and Hermione's relationship. I don't understand how they've managed, either, to stay best friends with Harry. If Harry was my best friend, I don't know what I'd have done by now. I hardly know what I've done knowing him as my godson.

_You called me strong, you called me weak,  
__But still your secrets I will keep  
__You took for granted all the times I  
__Never let you down_

I followed Remus into the living area after dinner. Everyone else went their separate ways, except for the twins and Ron and Hermione (Ron followed Hermione all the way up to her room, I believe, badgering her about whatever they were fighting about.)

"What is it Sirius?"

_You stumbled in and bumped your head, if  
__Not for me then you would be dead  
__I picked you up and put you back  
__On solid ground_

I shrug. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'll come out of this war alive, Remus," I admit. "I wonder if this is how James felt. Like he never wanted to die, like he wanted to see Harry grow up." I chuckle, beside myself with disbelief. "I mean, I'm sure he wanted to Remus, but this war…it's never going to end, is it?"

I can feel Remus watching me; carefully studying me and I know that he's trying to think of something really profound to say. Knowing him, he'll actually think of that something too.

"I don't think any of us, even though we knew there was that chance that we'd die, I don't think any of us expected we actually would. I know I never expected it would be James or Lily, anyhow. You maybe," he says with a grin, "but not them." There's a slight pause. "You were always a bit more daring and stupid than James."

_If I go crazy then will you still  
__Call me Superman  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be  
__There holding my hand  
__If I keep you by my side with  
__My superhuman might  
__Kryptonite_

I snort. He's right.

Remus sits down, making himself comfortable in what used to be my mother's favorite chair. She'd be horrified to see a werewolf sitting in the plush, velvety furniture piece. Something about that knowledge thrills me.

"Do you think this war will end ever?"

_If I go crazy then will you still  
__Call me Superman  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be  
__There holding my hand  
__If I keep you by my side with  
__My superhuman might  
__Kryptonite_

Remus shrugs. "I don't know the answer. I don't _want _to know. Knowing would drive me nuts and I wouldn't accomplish life. I wouldn't worry about it, Sirius. Death isn't something to be scared of. James wasn't. I'm not. You can't live your life afraid of the unexpected."

And because he's so smart and so patient with me, that's why our dynamics fit together.

_If I go crazy then will you still  
__Call me Superman  
__If I'm alive and well, will you be  
__There holding my hand  
__If I keep you by my side with  
__My superhuman might  
__Kryptonite  
_

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little chapter…the next one will be posted in a couple days! Please review!


	5. Remember When

Thank you _dwntempo_ for reviewing. It's always great to get new reviewers…I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you _Sham Harga _for thinking my story was lovely even though you normally don't read non-Marauder fics. That means a lot to me!

Disclaimer: The characters still don't belong to me and the song used is "Remember When," by Alan Jackson.

**Part IV:  
****_Chapter 1: Remember When  
_**

****

_Remember when I was young and so were you  
__And time stood still and love was all we knew_

Arthur watched Molly quietly, sitting in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. She was sitting cross legged on the sofa, reading a book. She was smiling, even laughing a little as she read and he was curious to know what in that book was so entertaining.

He was sort of jealous of the stupid thing too.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed her shut the book. Then she looked at him. It was a knowing look, a wink and an invitation.

Then she was standing in front of him and he couldn't do anything but take in her body: full curves (she was skinny, per say, but she had the loveliest shape) and red hair in a tousled bun. She was sexy…most definitely sexy.

"Thought I didn't notice you watching me, did you Arthur?" she asked in a stern voice she tended to use on the younger students she was taking points away from.

He grinned and stood up, kissing her briefly. Her mouth always tasted delicious. It was really quite stupid of him to kiss her _before _talking because then he couldn't remember what it was he had meant to say in the first place.

She kissed him again but then pulled away quickly, slapping him playfully. "Arthur!" she exclaimed, sounding minimally scandalized. "We could get in trouble for such tomfoolery!"

He gave her a look. It was the samelook that his sons, Ron especially, would have down to a "T." It was the "What-the-hell-are-you-going-on-about-woman?" look. "They're not going to give us detention for kissing Molly-dear," he said lightheartedly.

Then he kissed her again, this time long and full, partially because he wanted to and partially to prove to her that they wouldn't get in trouble for kissing.

They'd been kissing for a while when the moment was interrupted by a commotion from the boys' dormitory stairwell.

A boy with round glasses and a thick mop of black hair pulled away from the staircase.

Molly stepped out of Arthur's embrace and put her hands on her hips. "You're very lucky I didn't catch you James Potter! Lest I'd have to warn you on up to your bed!" she called up the stairwell.

Her words were followed by laughs.

Arthur smiled and pulled her toward him again. "Well Miss Head Girl, I don't think you've been doing your job very proper, do you?"

She grinned back at him and time was forgotten quickly.

_You were the first, so was I  
__We made love and then you cried  
__Remember when_

Molly lay with her head on the feather pillows, red hair fanned out with Arthur's head lying on her bared breast.

She felt so wonderful. So whole and wonderful.

She felt loved.

She kissed his red hair while her fingers traced up and down the smooth skin of his back leisurely. "You were worth the wait, Arthur Weasley."

Her eyes darted around the room. She felt suddenly sneaky. This was _not _what the Room of Requirements was meant for. She smirked. That didn't matter right now. What mattered was that she was here with Arthur and they had just made love for the first time.

She kissed his head again; comforted by the shallow breaths he was taking, by his breath lingering on her skin.

_Remember when we vowed the vows  
__And walked the walk  
__Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard_

"You don't regret any of this, do you Molly?"

She looked up, seeing her husband of one year come in through the kitchen archway. His nephew Kristofer was sleeping in his arms (they were babysitting for his brother Daniel).

"Regret what dear?" she asked idly, going back to attempting the Muggle way of donning socks.

"Us…me…I told you that I wasn't a rich man. I'd probably never make a lot of money." He looked away bashfully. Her heart went out to him. "I can't really give you what you deserve Molly. I can't give you much of anything."

_There was joy, there was hurt  
__Remember when_

"Don't say such things Arthur," Molly said with a sad smile. She stood up and went over to him, putting her hands on either side of his face. Baby Kristofer slept unaffected between their bodies. "You've always given me what I've needed. Love. Undying love and affection, you have, Arthur. I'm so blessed."

"I'm not rich, Molly-

"Shh, I've never wanted a rich man, Arthur. I've always only wanted you." She looked away with a delicate sigh and an even more faded blush. "I've always only wanted you…and your baby."

Arthur stood in shocked silence until he felt like an idiot. "A baby Molly?"

She looked up into his eyes, a grin filling them, spreading all the way to her toes until she felt blissfully happy. "I expect he'll be arriving in another six months time or so. I haven't actually gone to see the doctor-

"You haven't yet?" Arthur interrupted, serious concern filling his soft features. "Isn't that dangerous?"

Molly laughed and shook her head. "I was hoping you would come with me Arthur."

"I always wanted to name a son William," he said, his eyes lighting up with ideas on all that he would teach his son. On all the things he could show him. Maybe he would appreciate the Muggle way of life as he did.

_Remember when old ones died and new were born  
__And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged _

"You, Arthur Weasley, may go to hell whenever you like! I don't care to see your face anymore!" Molly exclaimed loud enough so that he might get the point and quiet enough so that Billy wouldn't wake up.

Arthur balked. "Excuse me Molly?" He couldn't understand what she was so anxious about, or angry about. It wasn't as if he'd meant to do anything…least of all turn her hair blue with that shampooing spell.

"Oh you heard me right and clear, Arthur!" she snapped back. Her eyes were flashing angrily and Arthur was quite aware that it was possibly the worst time he could find her attractive, but he did.

_We came together, fell apart  
__And broke each other's hearts_

"I'm sorry for turning your hair blue Molly," he said timidly as he climbed into bed next to her. She was turned away from him but he could tell she was still awake.

"And I'm sorry for telling you to go to hell," she replied quietly. It was the quietest she'd ever been with him, he thought. There was something pleasant and something odd about it all at once. It meant she was truly being honest but that she was, at least for a time, truly upset with him. He didn't like it.

"I love you Arthur," she said. Her voice was a bit stronger this time. More affirmative, much like the woman she was.

He put an arm around her, drew her close to his chest, and kissed her temple.

He was nuzzling her, kissing the back of her neck, when Billy woke up. He woke up screaming. Molly moved away from him, preparing to deal with her squalling son but Arthur gently pushed her back down, kissing her forehead.

"I'll take care of Billy. You just sleep," he directed gently.

She smiled gratefully.

_Remember when  
  
_

So…that's not the end of this part. There's at least another chapter…maybe two. I do hope you liked! Please read and review no matter what! Thank you! 


	6. Timeless

**Part IV:  
****_Chapter 2: Till Death Do Us Part (Timeless)_**

****

Arthur watched as Molly scolded Fred and George for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. The boys had attempted to turn Percy's pet rat, Scabbers, yellow. Percy was not happy about it, pouting in the corner and stroking the rat's patchy hair.

_Remember when_

Fred and George took their punishment in stride and when Molly finally released them from her stern reprimands they bounded off together, not looking the least bit remorseful. Arthur had to laugh. He knew they were going to find themselves in more trouble before their mother served lunch, which would be within the hour.

Molly turned to face him and smile wearily. Her hair had been pulled into a haphazard bun earlier that day but now the red hair was frizzed out and she looked utterly adorable.

She came to him and hugged him close. "What have we done to be so blessed with our children Arthur?"

_Remember when the sound of little feet  
__Was the music  
__We danced to week to week_

Molly yanked on Ron's tiny arm, trying to get him to stay put but it wasn't working. "Ronald Weasley, you are just like your father! Headstrong and such…bet you find a woman at Hogwarts who you fight with all the time!" she said, pulling a brush through his thick hair.

Ron's lip curled up and his nose wrinkled. "Is you a woman, Momma?"

Molly laughed. "Yes, Ronald, but I'm also a mother," she answered, trying to bite back a laugh.

His blue eyes watched her carefully in the mirror. He was assessing each move, each stroke of the brush and Molly knew that he was making sure she didn't do anything harmful to him. Ever since the hairbrush incident last week…well, he hadn't wanted to go anywhere near one after Fred and George's little prank.

Molly was hemming and hawing, just thinking about the twins' latest prank. Why they thought it was so funny to charm the brush into squirting multi-colored dye whenever someone attempted to use it was beyond her, but she did have to give them credit (although not even Arthur would know she felt this way), for they were clever little wizards. Pains-in-the-butt sometimes, but they were clever.

She smiled as Arthur came in, followed by their son Charlie who was yammering away about some dragon or another. Arthur met her gaze with a smile and they shook their heads in synch with one another.

_Brought back the love, we found trust  
__Vowed we'd never give up  
__Remember when_

Molly came home to find Arthur sitting on their ratty old sofa. She smiled as he patted his knee. "Come. Sit on my lap, Molly Weasley."

She obliged and kissed him when she did. "Our babies are all grown up now, aren't they Arthur?" she asked quietly.

He smiled and kissed her cheek and nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid they are." He laughed suddenly, thinking back on all they'd been through together. "I'm so glad to be here with you now, Molly. Here. In the Burrow. It somehow all makes sense."

She thought on what her husband said for a moment before nodding. "Yes, yes it does, doesn't it?" She leaned her forehead against his. "And you thought I wouldn't want you for all these years because you were poor." She giggled. "Well, I'll tell you what Arthur, you may be poor but we are never bored!"

They laughed together and then she kissed him.

_Remember when thirty something seemed old  
__Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone_

Arthur put his arm around his wife as they watched Harry walk away from Platform 9 and 3/4. Mad Eye Moody, Remus and their own children, Ron and Ginny as well as Hermione watched somberly.

Molly leaned into her husband and sighed. It had been another year; another terrible, awful year for Harry and still he managed to turn and smile and wave his hand. She hoped he would be able to do the same next year.

Remus was the first to turn away and Arthur knew why. Sirius had been his last friend from his Hogwarts days.

He was about to say something but was interrupted by Molly's poking finger and rather loud whispers, telling him to look at their son.

Ron's face was scarlet red (Arthur felt horrible for him, knowing he had acquired that trait through him) as he stayed talking with Hermione. Hermione, he thought, didn't look any more comfortable, seeing as her face was quite red too.

But he also recognized those nervous gazes and reddened skin. His son was taken with his best friend and from the looks of it, she was too. Silently, Arthur rooted for Ron, thinking that it would be lovely to have Hermione Granger in the family someday, if only so that she could teach him more fascinating Muggle facts.

His glance moved over to his daughter she hugged and sort of half-kissed Dean Thomas on the cheek. He started to move over toward her, feeling slightly protective but stopped when Molly kept a tight grip on his shirt. "You never mind that Arthur, don't you remember what it was like?" she asked fondly.

His mouth dropped open like a gaping fish.

She smiled and then laughed. "See? Of course you do! Now, don't interrupt Ginevra. Let her say goodbye to Dean any way she wishes too."

Who was Arthur to argue with that reasoning?

There was a comfortable silence between them at that moment, only interrupted when Mad Eye Moody said his goodbyes, telling them that he and Remus would meet up with them tomorrow evening at Grimmauld Place.

Arthur watched the wind tug her red hair…her face was more round, her body too, then it had been when they'd first started dating but laugh lines softened her eyes and her mouth, making her seem mature and beautiful and still so young.

"What are you thinking dear?" she asked quietly. Her eyes lowered a bit and a pink tinged her cheeks and Arthur was reminded of the school girl she was once. She had never been shy but had somehow always hated personal attention. She was a piece of work; that was for sure.

"I'm thinking that I wouldn't change a thing. Not even You-Know-Who…Anything that had a part to do with who we are now, I wouldn't change," he answered briefly, although it was a heartfelt answer.

_To where we are,  
__Where we've been  
__Said we'd do it all again  
__Remember when_

Molly sat in her chair, rocking back and forth while knitting cute socks. Blue socks. Pink socks. Green socks. Maroon socks. Socks of every color were filling the living room. They adorned the chairs, the sofa, the floor even. But she didn't mind. She had grandchildren that needed socks.

_Remember when we said when we turned gray  
__When the children grow up and move away_

Arthur had long ago given up trying to avoid stepping on the socks, now he only tried to avoid stepping on them while she was looking. There were far too many, he thought. _At least she's done with the bonnets_. Before the socks, it had been bonnets. She wasn't much good at bonnets. And the loud noises that came from the living room as she sewed the bonnets kept him awake at night. He didn't think he'd heard so many curse words thrown under one roof and now knew where Ron and Ginny got their language from.__

"I'm going to get all these socks finished before we leave for Ron and Hermione's tomorrow, Arthur," she told him idly.

Arthur wasn't so sure. She was good at multitasking but something about brand-new socks for the newest edition to the Weasley clan, their first granddaughter, told him they'd have to be beyond perfect.

"Dear little Christine needs new socks," she said. Arthur didn't know if she was talking to him or herself. "Don't you think these pink ones will look just adorable on her?" She didn't even hold up the pink socks.

He nodded anyway. "Of course, Molly. But then who are the blue ones for?"

She sighed, looked at him with an arched eyebrow, shook her head, and then went back to her knitting. "For Nathan, of course. Who else would you think they are for?" Nathan belonged to Fred and Angelina.

She pointed to the pile of maroon socks. "And those are for Ron."

Arthur pretended to listen as she continued to rattle off the future owner's of every pair of socks. That was truly a long time of pretending.

"Arthur," she finally said, setting down the finally completed socks, "Arthur are you listening to me at all?"

_We won't be sad, we'll be glad  
__For all the life we've had_

Molly kissed Christine on the forehead before rolling the sock onto her foot. "Now you be a good girl and keep them on this time!" she exclaimed affectionately. Arthur continued to rock the bassinet.

Their eyes met and they smiled at the same time. _I love you_.

_And we'll remember when_

He watched her quietly, sitting in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. She was sitting cross legged on the sofa, reading a book. She was smiling, even laughing a little as she read and he was curious to know what in that book was so entertaining.

_Remember when_

She kissed his head again; comforted by the shallow breaths he was taking, by his breath lingering on her skin.

_Remember when  
_

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know I really enjoyed writing it! Please review! Thank you so much!


	7. The First Time

Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned/used still don't belong to me. The song, "The First Time," belongs to Daniel Cage.

**  
Part V:  
****_Chapter 1: The First Time_**

****

****

****

_  
Now I see the world  
__For the first time_

****

She sat down next to him, filling his senses with every kind of smell imaginable: from baking bread,to sunshine to brewing potions. Her hair was a violent, electric green color and her clothes, murky brown and shimmering blue under certain lights.

"We were told to blend in, Tonks," Remus told her as he coolly appraised her choice of disguise. She didn't look any different than she did when they weren't out on assignment.

Tonks sniffed. "Never mind that." She looked directly at him, leveling her gaze with his. "Besides, I have an easier time blending in then you do."

Remus didn't reply, instead he looked away, focusing his attention on where the tall, dark figures were to appear in the distance. They were going to follow these people; these men and women who'd chosen to follow Voldemort and kill innocent people, Magical and Muggle alike, to prove their servitude.

"Focus, Nymph," he reminded her, using the nickname he'd developed for her sometime during the two years since the Dark Lord returned.

She stuck her tongue out. "I'll have you know that I don't find you very amusing, Remus," she told him.

He wasn't bothered by it. They'd had this conversation many times. "I'm not too worried about it."

She sighed and turned around, leaning her back against the low concrete wall they were hiding behind. "I hate the waiting."

Remus didn't look at her. He was afraid that if he did, too much emotion would be conveyed in his look. At first, she'd been just a younger sister to laugh at when Sirius played a prank on her. Then, after Sirius had been killed, she was someone to look after. Now, two years later he wasn't quite sure where she stood with him.

She fidgeted next to him for a few minutes, out of the corner of his eye he could tell she was changing her appearance at will, for amusements sake but he could tell she was about to tell him how sick of the wait she was.

She poked him in the ribs. "I'm bored," she hissed.

He was forced to look at her. His mouth must have fell open upon seeing her face now because she screwed up her nose and raised her eyebrows. "Yes? What's so funny?"

He brought his face closer to her. "Is that what you normally look like?" he asked, astounded at how normal and _un­_-Tonks like she looked.

Her face was still heart-shaped, her lips still red but her hair was long and a dark chocolate color. Her eyes, a bright blue color. She was exceptionally beautiful, normal looking but she didn't look anything like herself.

A nice blush covered her cheeks and her eyes lowered in what he could only assume was embarrassment. "Gee. Thanks for making me feel like I look odd," she teased.

"I-I didn't mean to," he said quickly, feeling instantly sorry.

Before his eyes, her appearance changed again. This time, white hair and pink eyes. He chuckled slightly. "Don't you ever get bored? Changing appearances all the time? Isn't it a lot of work?"

She cocked her head, a small smile playing at her bow-shaped mouth. "Wouldn't you know the answer to that question, Remus?"

He was quiet. She was right. He would know.

"Sorry," she said quietly, thinking that she'd overstepped her boundary as partner.

Remus didn't reply. He focused his energies instead at lighting a single blue flame so that they might have some amount of warmth.

_I'll light the sun  
__And the darkness will turn into light  
__Now I see the world for the first time_

When he looked at her once again, a bluish tint danced across her face, giving her this otherworldly appearance. Angelic and devilish like all at once. He smiled despite himself.

They were quiet for a time and then Tonks spoke again, bored with the silence. Remus thought that was one of her endearing, albeit annoying, qualities; she always had to be entertained.

"Do you ever wonder if Sirius could have been saved?"

Remus wasn't shocked by her question; often they'd spoke his friend, her cousin. In fact, they'd had this conversation before. Last time though, it had been him who'd asked the question.

He was careful to answer though.

"No, I don't think so." He took her chin between his hands and stared into her eyes. He meant it to be nothing more than a friendly gesture but somehow knew that they were crossing a foggy boundary tonight. They would be in the hours, minutes even, to come. "He was too headstrong to be stopped, Nymph."

She gulped suppressed tears back so hard he could see the slight movement of her Adam's apple. She nodded solemnly. "Of course not."

He didn't let go of her face though, even in the silence.

He held on for dear life.

_If I don't break all the lies that I make  
__I'll only leave them for you  
__If I could hear your voice on the phone_

Tonks let him hold her face, feeling comforted by his quiet presence. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. He would take care of her.

Something in one of her pockets started vibrating.

"Oh!" she exclaimed softly, nearly jumping up to her feet in surprise. She immediately felt around her clothing until she found the pocket with the rectangular lump. She whipped it out of her pocket and flipped it open, poking at buttons in an attempt to get the thing to stop shaking.

"I don't know how Muggles use these damn things…" she muttered, plopping back down on the ground. She tucked her feet under her and leaned against the concrete wall again.

Remus laughed silently. He recognized the contraption as a cellular phone. Mad-Eye had given him the entire history of the thing in one sitting. Remus, although always a good student and very attentive, had found it hard to pay attention. From what he remembered, they used the cellular phones now because Voldemort didn't use them (as he was violently anti-Muggles) and therefore didn't know how to infiltrate them.

In any case, he hadn't yet had to learn to use one.

Harry, Hermione and Ron knew how to. Or at least, Hermione did for sure (her parents were Muggles, after all) and Harry was at least _familiar _with them. Come to think of it, Remus was pretty sure Ron only pretended to know how to use one. Remus chuckled.

Tonks, who'd managed to get the thing working correctly, was just clicking the object shut again. She sighed wearily. Then she changed her appearance again. This time she looked Veela-ish.

"We're in for a long night together."

_It's better then being along_

Remus stretched his hands out so that they almost touched the flame. They were icy cold.

Tonks, somewhat unsure of herself, gingerly took Remus's hands in her own. She held them tightly, willing some of her warmth to travel to his body. "You'll be ice by the time we're called off the assignment," she joked quietly.

He didn't laugh, only remaining in silence as she filled his eyes. She wasn't looking at him; she was looking at his hands in hers. She was looking at them hard as if she didn't really believe what she was seeing.

"Tonks…" he started, but his voice faded quickly as he wasn't really sure of what he was going to say.

She looked at him then and bit her lip so hard he was sure she'd make herself bleed.

"You can call me Nymph," she said shyly then.

He smiled.

She leaned forward, briefly, and then she stopped. She dropped his hands and he was suddenly cold.

Again, she began watching the blue flame.

Remus sighed, not sure if he was annoyed with how the night was going or not. He looked into the great beyond. No one had shown up yet…

Then he looked at Nymphadora Tonks, realizing that the only person who mattered, the one person he felt he could truly confide in, had shown up. That meant the world to him.

He sat back and closed his eyes, feeling better than he had in a long time.

_I'll light the sun  
__And the darkness will turn into light  
__Now I see the world for the first time_

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter! I know I loved writing it! Look for another update in the next two days! Please review! 


	8. Crazy

Many thanks to _Querisole_ for reviewing! I'm glad you thought I had a nice, intimate moment. And thank you _LadyLupinLover_! I'm glad you like these stories. I hope you both enjoy these next couple of chapters, which will be centered around Remus/Tonks!

**  
Part V:  
****_Chapter 2: Lonely Togetherness (Crazy)_**

****

****

_  
For the first time_

****

****

"Psst!"

He was awaken by a loud hissing in his ear and a poke (in actuality it was more like a jab) in his rib.

"Remus! Wake up!"

He opened his eyes, feeling as if he hadn't slept in years. Tonks was leaning into his body. Her eyes, wide and gray now, were watching him anxiously. "You fell asleep. I didn't know if, or when, I should wake you…" she explained, punctuating her words with a nervous shrug. "I didn't know if you liked to sleep or not."

He stared at her, still not totally sure of what was real or what was fake. "What time is it?" he finally asked, and rather groggily at that.

She looked down at her wristwatch. It was tattered, frayed at the edges and it appeared to be broken. "Umm…I believe it's two-thirty."

"Two-thirty?"

Tonks looked up at him and nodded, biting her lip. "In the A.M." She looked back down at the watch and nodded again, this time more firmly. "Yes, that's right. It's two-thirty A.M. Is it OK that I woke you up?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

Remus sat up straighter before rotating his shoulders and rubbing at the crick in his neck. It wasn't a moment before he felt Tonks's hands, small and nimble and soft, removing his own, replacing them on his neck. "Let me," she said in a rather breathy voice.

He wasn't one to argue.

Her hands were quite literally doing wonders on him. And, if he wasn't to deny it, tiny sparks were shooting up and down his skin, leaving a blazing trail one want as well as partnership in their wake.

A bat dipped low, swooping down upon invisible prey right before them.

Tonks leaned close to Remus to whisper in his ear. "Are you sure it's OK that I woke you? You can sleep some more…?" she offered, in case that's what he wanted.

Her breath tickled against his skin and for a moment, he thought he heard a hitch in her breath. "It's OK, Nymph," he reassured her. He was glad to be awake. Even if he hadn't been, there wasn't anyone he would rather spend his time with.

She was quiet again. They both were.

"Do you ever think about animals, Remus?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence once again.

"Of course I do. I'm a werewolf." He said it without thinking.

She chuckled softly. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like…like, well, do you ever think about butterflies or fish?"

He twisted around in order to look at her. Her eyes were wide and innocent.

_A butterfly flies and a bird doesn't swim  
__You've told me again and again  
__But if I don't do all the things that you do_

He shrugged, not sure how to answer. He wasn't even really sure he understood her question.

She put her chin in her hands. "I think it's amazing how different all of us are. Creature to creature. Even human to human. We all have our own traits to bring to this world. Do you think it's for no good reason that birds don't swim?" she asked. From the far off look in her eyes, Remus kind of got that it was a rhetorical question.

He answered anyway.

"I never thought on it, I guess," he admitted. He truly felt foolish, never having thought on these things.

The silence that followed was heavy, thoughtful.

This time, he was the one to interrupt it. "When do you have time to think on these things, Nymph?"

"When you're sleeping," she answered nonchalantly.

He felt silly that as he slept, she pondered the creatures and workings of the universe.

"Aren't we supposed to be watching that spot over there?" he asked, using his thumb to point behind him at the still vacant spot.

She shook her head. "No, while you were sleeping Mad-Eye rang again. The watch isn't off, per say, but we're to lay low here for awhile. Or at least until we know for sure that they aren't meeting here as planned."

"I didn't know you were so thoughtful," he commented slowly.

She glanced at him and then shrugged. She looked a lot like a little girl at that moment. And a guilty one at that.

But the guilty girl was replaced by the caring and grown-up version of Nymphadora Tonks when she turned her full attention toward him. Their eyes locked for an unmercifully long time and yet, it still wasn't quite long enough.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Remus Lupin," she told him. She challenged him.

He brought his chin up, accepting the challenge. "Like?"

She tapped her forefinger to her chin. "I was engaged to be married once," she offered freely, making his eyebrows shoot up into his shaggy bangs.

"Yes I was," she said firmly upon seeing his reaction. "But then I found out the guy didn't like veelas…not that I particularly _like _them, you see, but since I turn into them quite often I felt it was a relationship probably already doomed."

"Oh!-and this is pretty trivial but McGonagall used to give me detention _all the time_, quite literally too, for talking too much. Or if not talking, for tripping or being late," she told him.

"Imagine that," he replied dryly.

She rolled her eyes. "Think what you want but I was quite attentive in school." Her face screwed up in thought. "Or at least, I really tried to be."

Remus laughed.

"Well, Nymph, I _was _the attentive one."

She looked at him as if she was cross-examining him. "Imagine that," she threw back as wryly as possible. It was quite hard though, as she was trying not to sigh in exasperation.

"I'm sorry. I had a fairly boring childhood," he explained briefly.

She nodded and he could tell she didn't believe him.

_It doesn't mean there's no where to begin_

"Except for that whole werewolf thing," she added with an arched eyebrow.

He shrugged but didn't say anything.

"So then," she continued, "what's the craziest thing you've done?"

It took him awhile to answer. Her eyes were distracting, her fingernails (a shimmering yellow) were distracting, her smile was distracting. _She _was distracting. The way her eyes shimmered when she grinned. The way she threw her entire being into her actions. Even the way she plowed right ahead, without thinking, and spoke without thinking was distracting.

"I'm a very cautious person," he answered.

She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. "Even the most cautious person has done something crazy," she replied.

He tried thinking up a smart-ass remark but couldn't. She was right. Even the dullest of persons had done at least one thing totally out of character.

"Befriended your cousin and James and Peter?" he offered lamely.

She wrinkled her nose. "That's not that crazy." She thought about his response for a moment and then her eyes lit up. "Well, maybe befriending Peter was…but not Sirius and James. They are…or rather, were good people. Or so I've heard," she added under her breath.

She looked back at him and shook her head. "No, that won't do. There's got to be something else…?" she prompted.

He ran a hand through his long blondish colored hair and looked at her wearily. "Told you I thought you were cute," he told her quickly and quietly.

Tonks stared hard at him for a moment. "You never said I was cute," she replied finally, breathlessly.

Remus leaned in to get a closer look at her face. "Fine. You're rather cute, Nymph," he said in earnest.

"Cute is something you call your best friend's little sister, not a grown woman," she retorted softly, pulling her gaze away from his eyes and to her hands, which were clenching and unclenching rather jaggedly.

Remus didn't try to make her look at him. "Then how about beautiful, Nymph?" he asked. When she didn't make a sound, he continued. "Somewhere along the way, you've become more than just Sirius's kid cousin."

He waited a long moment before she brought her chin up. Tears were in her eyes.

_I'll light the sun  
__And the darkness will turn into light_

"Remus, I-

She gaped at him for a second longer and before she chickened out, she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him hard, sending all the feelings for him she had straight to his heart.

_Now I see the world for the first time_

Well, I hope all you Tonks/Remus fans enjoyed this little chapter! There is one more to come and then it's on to a new person/couple/perspective (any ideas???). For all those who _aren't _Tonks/Remus fans, I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Thanks so much for reading! Please review! 


	9. Sifting through the Words

Thank you once again to _LuckyLoo16_ for reviewing! This chapter is for you (since you have been reviewing my stories for what seems like forever!)! Many thanks to _LuthienGranger2004_ for reviewing! It's great to see a new name…enjoy!

**  
Part V:  
****_Chapter 3: Sifting through the Words_**

_For the first time_

Even as she was kissing him, Tonks couldn't believe her mouth was on his. And that she had had the guts to initiate it was even more incredible. Her heart was thudding so hard in her chest, she thought she might die. But she never wanted to stop.

Remus cupped her face gently and pulled her closer to him.

There were other things, better things, than talking that her mouth was good for. He'd like to spend the rest of his life finding out each and every one of those things, too.

Somehow she'd managed to press her midriff and chest fully against him and so, when her cellular phone started vibrating again, it was felt by both of them. He was reluctant to let her go and even better, it seemed she felt the same.

She turned away before she started talking and sat back down on the ground with a loud thump. She leaned forward and Remus was privy to view a tattoo on her lower back.

He smiled upon seeing it.

Tonks was nodding and pushing at her hair as she spoke, which, when he pulled himself back into their work, he realized was probably not the best thing.

The phone slipped into her back pocket again.

When she turned, he didn't miss the serious air that surrounded her. "What?"

She was silent for a long, long time.

He peered at her, mentally trying to figure out what was going on. He imagined all the horrible possibilities but none of them seemed plausible—though they were, or perhaps he just didn't want to believe it?

_Harry is dead. Ron or Hermione, maybe? Molly? Dumbledore? _Had they been infiltrated? Had they missed a sign or a clue somewhere along the way?

Tonks was valiantly holding back tears.

She looked at him, her face broken. "Hermione, they…" she trailed off to take another couple of deep breaths.

Remus was too shell-shocked to say something. Hermione was dead.

Suddenly, she stood upright, though they hadn't been told they could yet do so. "Come on, Remus, we're going to St. Mungo's," she told him. Her voice was decisive. She'd made the choice to leave.

"St. Mungo's?"

She nodded. And suddenly, she wasn't Tonks anymore. She was…herself, again. She was the girl with long dark hair and a heart shaped face. "Yes, of course. Hermione and Ron will be there, of course. Harry too, I should think."

"Hermione _and Ron_?" he echoed weakly.

She looked at him strangely. "Remus, what are you on about? Hermione's parents were attacked tonight. We'd been fooled. They weren't coming here at all…they were hunting her parents down."

Despite the still awfulness of the situation, Remus sighed, relieved.

"What did you think had happened?" she asked after a slight pause, a moment of watching his worried face melt into relief then screw back up into worry.

He stood up. "Never mind," he said while picking up the small bag of gear he'd brought along: a pillow, a rolled blanket and some food stuffs, in case he had to wait here for a longer time then originally thought.

She started walking away, finding a safe spot to apparate.

Remus followed shortly.

_I'll take all the gold I thought was mine  
__And I'd trade it for a minute of time_

"Tonks, before we are surrounded by people, what was that back there?" he asked suddenly. His words sounded curious and somewhat anxious. As if he'd never cared about a girl like this.

She looked up at him with murky green eyes. They were flecked with gold, he noticed. There was earnestness in them he rarely saw in another as of late. She didn't look away from him.

"I care for you a lot, Remus. More than I probably should." Her gaze continued to hold. "I have for a while but with everything the way it is—I just, there was never a right time." She began fumbling for words to describe her feelings and instead of interrupting her, he let her.

"There was a time…I never wanted you to see me as only Sirius's cousin. And it's not like I meant to start feeling this way, it just sort of happened. But, well, I love you," she told him, as if it was a well known fact.

She smiled briefly, glancing away from him momentarily. "I have for a long time." She grinned when she looked at him. "You wouldn't believe how hard it's been for me these past few months to not say anything! I'm pretty damn good at keeping unimportant secrets but the important ones, well I blab those all the time!" she exclaimed.

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "What unimportant secrets?"

She shrugged carelessly. "Stuff about the Order mainly."

"You consider that _un_important?" he asked, astounded that she'd said that.

Her face screwed up in thought again. "Not necessarily unimportant, you see, but, well…they're a different kind of important, I guess."

She looked at him.

He looked back.

A slight breeze lifted her hair to his face and he caught her scent: outdoorsy but a bit gypsy-ish. It was an interesting smell. He reveled in it.

_So I keep waiting_

"So, I'll see you at St. Mungo's then, right?" she asked after a bit.

He opened his eyes, remembering where he was. "No," he said, shaking his head adamantly.

"No?" she repeated, dumbfounded by his response.

"No, Nymph," he said again. "I want you here with me for just a moment longer. That's all, just a moment. Then I'll wait for you as long as you like," he replied feverishly.

"What?" Her eyes were wide. "You aren't making any sense."

"Nymphadora," he began, chuckling inside when he realized he'd never called her that before (but it was worth it to see the hilariously disgusted look come across her face). His smile reached the corners of his eyes and she thought he didn't smile nearly as much as she should have.

She'd like to make him smile like that for as long as she lived.

"Nymph," he started again, this time softer, sweeter. "If I die tomorrow, or you do, I want you to know that I love you."

He saw her mouth fall open, knew she was about to argue and interrupted her before she got the chance to speak. "Would you shut up long enough for me to tell you how much I love you?"

She looked a tad offended but clamped her jaws firmly shut and nodded resolutely.

"At first, you were right; I loved you like I would a friend's sister. You were Sirius's cousin. That's it. But even before now, before Sirius died, I was attracted to you. I was attracted by the veela and by the 'Tonks' and the hair changes but what really gets to me is _you_. Just the way you are now, or the way you were moments ago. There's nothing I wouldn't rather do than spend the rest of my life loving you." He couldn't believe he'd managed that, being he didn't like speaking that much.

"Are you serious?" she finally questioned quietly. He saw that she doubted him.

He lifted his hand and brushed her cheek. His hand ended up tangled in the long dark tresses. "I've always been serious with you, Nymph. I love you. I have for a long time but it wasn't the right time or something."

She gave a tentative laugh. "So would you say that right now _is _the right time?"

_I'll light the sun  
__And the darkness will turn into light_

He shrugged, almost as nonchalantly as Sirius had once been able to. "I guess by now I figure why not? What the hell?" He pressed his forehead against hers and tugged at her hair with his other, unoccupied hand. "I'd rather go through hell with you then heaven alone."

There were tears swimming in her eyes.

_Now I see the world for the first time_

"Come to St. Mungo's with me to see how Hermione is doing?" she invited him with a small, hopeful smile.

He smiled back. "Of course I will."

"And then after, come back with me to my flat? I'll make you dinner…well, actually I'm not very adept at _making _dinner but I'm sure I can manage something…"

"That would be wonderful," he replied.

"And then maybe we could…talk, some more," she suggested.

"If that's what you want, Nymph."

She nodded. "It is what I want…then, maybe we could—

Her cellular phone started vibrating.

"Be interrupted by that blasted piece of shite equipment?" Remus offered with a wide smile and a wink.

She laughed and reached up to kiss him once again. "Yes, that was just what I was thinking."

_For the first time with you_

Wow. I really had a lot of fun writing this chapter (actually, the entire part) and I hope that you all had as much fun reading it! Please review and again, thank you, as always, for reading. J 


	10. Let Me Down

Many thanks to _Queriusole_for reviewing once again! I hope that you enjoy this chappie as much as you have the other ones! _Bansheecall_thank you very much for reviewing…and I really love your screen name, just to let you know. J _LadyLupinLover_I hope you enjoy this part. It's kind of different, and so it was hard for me to write. I'll be looking for your review!!! _Mac1_ great to see a new name…don't see many all the time. I hope you enjoy!

_Disclaimer: _The story's characters still do not belong to me. The song, "Let Me Down," belongs to Limpbizkit.

**  
  
Part VI:  
****_Let Me Down_**

****

_Heartbreak is a headache,  
__Like a toothache or an earthquake.  
__Spontaneous combustion  
__Leaves a taste that so disgustin'  
__And it don't go away too fast_

He watched her kiss James Potter enthusiastically, feeling like retching right into his dinner plate. Was there really any reason she was with Potter? He doubted it immensely.

To Potter's right was that pauper Lupin. Severus's lip curled up with disgust. That Lily Evans would associate with such…animals was unreal and unnerving for the sixteen year old. Especially since he wanted to protect her.

Pettigrew was laughing at something Sirius-the bastard of the group-said. Severus bet it wasn't even all that funny.

She kissed him again.

God, she was a wench.

It hurt his heart to think that about her, although he would never admit it.

She wasn't. He really didn't think that about her.

And at that moment Sirius noticed him staring and lifted a chin and nodded half-assed. Severus truly hated Sirius in that moment and wished him the most painful, serious death he could think of…he wasn't even worthy of the death curse. He hoped beyond hopes that the death Sirius fell to would be slow and agonizingly painful. And he wished that Potter and Pettigrew and Lupin would all be there to witness it. It was the ugliest thing he could think of so early in the morning.

He watched, hypnotized as Lily's reddish gold hair caught the sunlight that streamed in from the castle windows.

Every part of her was alive.

She honestly made him want to be alive as well. She almost-almost-made him want to be in Gryffindor.

No girl though, was worth the shame of being in Gryffindor. He kept repeating that. It was his mantra, especially now, now that he wanted her as badly as he did.

It was a harsh, blinding reality to be in the position that he was. Where he was, gulp, in love with a girl classes different than his own.

_I'm a window made of broken glass_

_I've never needed anything,  
__Anything but you  
__And that's what wrong  
__That's what I get  
__For feeling this_

He gave up eating all together, having lost all appetite as soon as Potter's hand slipped to the small of Lily's back. Her shirt, she wasn't wearing her robes quite, rode up a bit and Severus was warmed upon seeing her milky white skin.

"Fuck," he muttered, truly irritated that she was invading his thoughts like this.

Potter was grinning, his glasses sliding down his stuck-up nose. Lily was laughing and pushed the glasses up, setting them properly upon his beak.

Severus was convinced the reason they did this, the reason Potter did this, was to piss him off royally. There was no other reason than this. Potter knew, he just somehow _knew _how Severus felt and therefore rubbed his good fortune in his face, shoving his nose into it until his nose, long though it was, was completely covered in Potter's disgustingly good fortune.

Severus hated the man.

He hated Potter nearly as much as Sirius and quite a bit more than he did Lupin, werewolf or not.

And wrapped thickly around that hatred was a hot, scarring love for Potter's girlfriend.

He looked down the Slytherin table, keenly aware that he was the only y not talking to someone else.

Even in Hufflepuff, no one seemed to be left alone…Ravenclaw there were plenty of couples. He was the only one…then his eyes drifted down to the Gryffindor table again, noting the one lone person, aside from himself.

While he sat with Potter, Evans, Black and Pettigrew, Lupin wasn't talking. He was sitting mutely. Every once in a while nodding as one of his friends asked him a question.

But Lupin's silence was forced, Severus knew. Lupin had no choice but to be alone, lest there be another werewolf in their midst.

He hated to be the only alone one…left to be alone with a werewolf.

"Why don't you just fuck her?" a silky voice propositioned from behind him.

Severus's back stiffened instinctively.

He didn't care much for Lucius Malfoy either, Slytherin or not.

He didn't say anything to Lucius, even as he and his girlfriend, Narcissa Black sat down next to him.

"She may be a Mudblood but she's good enough for a fuck, I reckon," Lucius said. Narcissa remained silent next to him and Severus briefly wondered whether or not she ever spoke. He didn't know if he'd ever heard her say one word.

"Full ass, nice tits, I'd fuck her," he added.

Severus continued to eat in silence. He knew very well that Lily Evans had a nice ass and tits. He'd spent enough time under her tutoring to know that.

Lucius made an obscene gesture and stood up sharply. Then he snapped his fingers. Narcissa stood immediately and quietly, meekly, followed him down the way to the other end of the Slytherin table.

_Anyway…  
__Just let me know  
__All I'll miss  
__When I'm gone  
__Just throw it all away…you let me down  
__Like everybody says…you let me down  
__Write me off like yesterday…you let me down  
__Oh, I guess that your not good enough to be with me_

He steeled himself against Potions with Gryffindor.

Lily was already sitting at a table with two of her friends. She was smiling and pushing away a strand of red hair. Her eyes, those strange emerald green eyes, were glittering, even in the cold dungeon's darkness.

She turned, feeling his eyes on her, and smiled hesitantly. She seemed to know not what to do, what he expected of her.

"Afternoon Snivellus," Sirius's grating voice entered his train of thoughts. "Keep dreaming," he said softly. And then, with an awful glint in his eye, "And in the event you're actually thinking of laying her, I'll send Lupin on you."

Remus appeared behind his friend. "Leave him alone Sirius. I'm sure his thoughts weren't directed indecently toward anyone."

Severus looked towards Lupin curiously. For his part, Lupin only looked at him. There was hatred in those silver, gray eyes. But behind that hatred there was something else, something Severus knew very well.

A loneliness.

It seemed then that they were alike.

James walked in then, more like floated in (in Severus's demeaning mind), and threw a smile in Lily's direction before appraising Severus coolly.

Severus turned away, knowing it was useless to stand there anymore.

James and Sirius sat behind Lily, Remus and Peter sat across from them. Lily turned then and Severus could hear her chastising the both of them for the adolescent behavior. She didn't look in his direction once.

_Rumors are tumors  
__Of the sick and mainly useless  
__When you come to me with these things  
__It's the shit that I can't deal with_

Severus sat in the back of the dungeon room alone. He was quiet back there, really didn't make any noise. But he could feel the hatred seething beneath the surface. Hatred for Potter and his friends. Hatred mixed with a harder to define feeling for Lily.

He forced himself to focus on what Professor Nightly was saying. And then, he threw himself into his work.

He put ingredients into his cauldron rather harshly. Stirred with a vengeance. He refused to let them get to him. He refused to care any more about Lily Evans than he already did. He refused to care at all anymore…

He was especially adept to brewing potions so it was a bit more than a little shock when the cauldron exploded, painting his face with pink and orange goop.

It stung. It stung a lot.

He felt someone push him down in the seat that was behind. Then the person wiped away the stuff with a damp cloth.

When he could finally open his eyes, Lily Evans was looking him right in the face with a soft, delicate smile. In the background he could hear her friends laughing. Why wasn't she laughing with them?

"Are you alright there, Severus?" she asked finally.

He got the distinct feeling that she meant it. She wasn't teasing him. She wasn't looking for ammo to get him back with later on.

"Merlin, Severus, this stuff is dangerous," she managed. "You could have really hurt yourself."

She smiled before wiping some more of the exploded potions off of his face. "There, all better."

Professor Nightly finally made it to the back of the room, where he promptly shoved Lily out of the way and yelled at Severus for mucking up a simple potion. He could hear sniggering from his classmates, Gryffindor and Slytherin alike. Black's laugh was perhaps the loudest though.

_Still I gave you all of me,  
__Faithfulness and honesty  
__Prayed for God to bring you near,  
__Along with all these tears  
__And that's what wrong  
__That's what I get  
__For feeling this  
__Anyway…just let me know  
__All I'll miss when I'm gone_

He managed to make it halfway down to the Infirmary before hearing the thudding steps of someone running to catch him.

"Severus, wait!"

Lily's voice was loud and serious. He stopped immediately but did not turn to face her.

She came so close to him that he could feel her body's heat. "Never mind them. They're just a lot of idiots."

When he didn't say anything she touched his arm lightly in question. "Severus?"

He bristled at her hand on his arm. "Did you know I love you?" he asked suddenly.

Her intake of breath was sharp. "Please don't," she finally whispered.

Her breath tingled on the back of his neck. "Don't what?" he asked bitterly.

"Don't say things you'll regret later," she answered breathily.

_Just throw it all away…you let me down  
__Like everybody says…you let me down  
__Write me off like yesterday…you let me down  
__Oh, I guess that your not good enough to be with me_

He whipped around in order to face her. "What if maybe I'm _not _saying things I'll regret later? What if I told you that you're beautiful? That the few hours we've spent studying together are some of the best memories I have-

"Severus, please-

"Please what? Don't say things _I'll _regret? Maybe I'm saying things _you'll _regret?" he shot back angrily.

"Severus-

And then he kissed her. He pulled her to him nearly violently and kissed her just as hard. So hard, she knew she'd have a bruised mouth the next day.

Lily found the strength to push away from him, their lips breaking contact just as James and Sirius came barreling down the winding stairs.

"Hey! Is there a problem here?" James asked loudly. His voice was harsh and his gaze going between Lily and Severus.

He stayed silent, waiting for Lily's response. "No James, there isn't a problem," she replied, her gaze still wide and on Severus's. She briskly turned to face the other Gryffindors. "I was only _apologizing _to Severus for _your _behavior!" she chastised. Still, they didn't look the least bit worried.

Severus looked down at Lily, unable to take his eyes off of her.

He should hate her, he knew. He should hate her for toying with his affections. He should hate her for going back to those smarmy rats; especially Sirius. He would like nothing better than to hex that smug grin off of Sirius's ugly face.

But he looked down at Lily and he couldn't hate her, no matter how hard he tried.

_I'd like to thank you  
__For lettin' me know I can feel this way  
__Feel this way  
__For letting me know I can feel_

In a second's time he thought he heard her apologize. He knew she was apologizing for more than her friend's rude behavior.

"Fuck it, I'm going to the Infirmary," Severus announced irritably and without looking at any of them any more, he walked away.

_Just throw it all away…you let me down  
__Like everybody says…you let me down  
__Write me off like yesterday…you let me down  
__Oh, I guess that your not good enough to be with me_

He walked away with a stiff upper lip, and back, refusing to let feelings for her…or anyone for that matter, get in the way of his judgment. And forget ever trusting someone again...someone he could love. Fuck them all.

_Just throw it all away…you let me down  
__Like everybody says…you let me down  
__Write me off like yesterday…you let me down  
__Oh, I guess that your not good enough to be with me_

OK, so, what did you think? This was very truly a hard chapter to write. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think! 


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